Hands Free Ham

Beth Stern Instagram 2-10-16.

Beth O'Stern continues to amaze her fan by doing absolutely nothing for anybody but herself as she rolls around on the floor at Stalag Beth in the Hamptons while Howard Stern is god knows where since Beth has a bunch of phony photos stashed on her iPhone so her paid selfie assistant can dole them out ad nauseam on Instagram to entertain Beth's awesome InstaTwit followers in Malaria, Malasia, the former Soviet Union, the Suez Canal and New Jersey.

Amazingly, Beth also thinks that endless selfies of the same group of cats that are pending and waiting to be dumped onto other people, is considered charity work while she has the nerve to collect a salary from her personal foundation Bianca's Furry Friends, which is involved in a conceptual cat adoption center proposal at the charity where she also gets a salary as their chief fundraiser and useless spokesperson, the North Shore Animal League (NSAL). For about three years the cat adoption center is simply a drawing on a piece of paper. How you can house abandoned cats on a sheet of paper will be an amazing sight to behold and in the meantime, Beth captures a few cats and pretends to foster them when the help does all the work, Beth only photogs herself playing with the cats before they are thrown back into their wire cage in the foster kitten tax write off room in the Hamptons [she has similar rooms in Manhattan and Florida and has to constantly cart a cat around to prove she is working for NSAL]. Such is the selfie prison world of bizarro Beth with Howard visiting briefly as he waits near the entryway for his limo driver to beep that he's waiting outside with the motor running whenever Beth finally passes out from doing nothing all day.

Beth Stern Instagram 2-10-16.

Leave it to Howard to create the iPhone selfie bra top for Miss Camera Hog who is in love with her own image to the point of making everyone around her nauseous while the men in white coats prepare a syringe and tell her that her pink pony is waiting for her in the basement hideaway from reality.

Beth straps her camera phone to herself
so she can take selfies nonstop
and call it charity work.

We wonder when Howard and Beth will crash another basketball game in the Big Apple since it's getting more difficult to score those freebie corporate tickets from Sirius since they are done with promoting Howard and NBC is done with pretending Howard was an on-air personality for "America's Got Talent" when he was just an on-air CGI image photographed in the dark playing at being Grumpy Cat Howard which just laid an egg and the show packed up and moved back to Los Angeles where it originated. Simon Cowell will be back on TV leading the way back to the show's recovery from sinking ratings due to the Stern effect with Miss Laughing Horse begging for audience screen shots of herself to impress her mother who is a devout Catholic and a former model who was upset her daughter was dating Howard Stern but came to love him [I know, why not repeat that bullshit you read in Beth's bios all over the Internet; hey, I can be a team player].

Howard is still hiding from all the massive popular superstar events like the Super Bowl, the Zoolander movie premiere in New York, and now the star studded amfAR event in New York on Wednesday night. Yes, the gala event for people who are actually doing something in this world to help other people, and we thought Mr. Gay Rights Activist Howard Stern would be front and center at the event. Nope, he is hiding from donating any real cash to any charitable cause that doesn't get Beth on television.

Supermodel stunner Heidi Klum is a tireless supporter of amfAR supporting AIDS research and looked gorgeous as usual on the red carpet on Wednesday night along with other mega stars concerned about raising awareness for AIDS research when it was alleged [by The National Enquirer] that David Bowie died from AIDS and sometimes cancer is another complication from AIDS. In any event, it was a tragic loss for his family, friends and fans.

amfAR New York gala event, 2/10/16.

The Ruling Class was represented at the amfAR event on 2/10/16, with that gorgeous Nicky Hilton Rothschild and her sister Paris. I guess the Rothschild family didn't want to risk having any future heirs getting stuck with that cursed left tiny eye that Paris was born with and that wandering right eye. Oh well, we know she will find her own beau very soon.

Also gracing the red carpet at the amfAR event was the gorgeous real model Andreja Pejic, and we see Howard seemed to have missed out on an opportunity to bother Harvey Weinstein into funding Private Parts No. 2 [I know, stop laughing, but it is hilarious that Howard has been waiting 30 years for that second movie role]. Andy Cohen is the new superstar talk radio show host on Sirius and is really hot right now.

Hunky Leonardo DiCaprio was at the amfAR event too, and was wary of bumping elbows with any obnoxious snooty singers who have peaked and are now corporate owned.

A Beth Fan provided a link to Howard Stern's decorators' website showing his Hamptons home that looks like it was furnished for aged seniors stuck in the Hamptons year-round who fill their boring hours in the basement getting loaded and getting sea sick surrounded by tons of fugly wood, stone and marble that looks like the galley of the Titanic.

We remember this awesome master bedroom with Bethie posing with the urn containing her dead dog Bianca's ashes and she set up her selfie foundation in no time which collects public donations with zero work product to show for it. She also had to pose on her big bed and the photos were featured in a layout for Whirl magazine in 2013.

Full photo of the bedroom where Howard set up that stupid photo shoot having the nerve to show Beth as a demented dead dog mourner trying to look sexy. I mean, how many women pose sexy next to an urn?? Oh, well, that is what you can expect from the scrambled brains of Howard Stern and his wife who was desperate to be a model, and model anything, even urns.

Poor Beth must be exhausted with another week almost in the can with Beth a canned ham stuck in the Hamptons failing to get those awesome red carpet invitations for those bi-coastal A List events.